I was standing in the outfield…bent at the waist…hands on my knees…just looking at the batter. The lights that lit the field that night gave a strange glow and nothing looked real. Funny how well one can see under those lights. I could see every mosquito as they all had their way with us. I was trying my best to kill them with my mitt as they landed on my arms and neck….but I never took my eye off the ball…waiting….BALL! “Hey, BATTER!!! Swing, BATTER!!!...waiting for the ball to be hit….staring! Waiting...  If it came to me….I’d catch it!  I HAD to!!!  It was the last inning and we had to win!

The last ball that was pitched was a good one and the batter hit it HARD!  You can probably guess that it came to me. And when it came, it came fast…overhead….back….back….running backwards, that ball kept sailing. I knew the fence was coming soon and I sure didn’t want to run into it…but I’d have rather hit the fence than to miss that ball. And just as I thought it wasn’t going to come down in time…as if I willed it to, the ball fell….into my glove. And I just kept looking at that ball in my glove…the elation was ringing in my ears. I remember it so well, and the reason that I remember every detail of that night is because my dad was there at this game. This was the first and only time he’d be at one of our games.

People that knew us told me how proud he was of me that night. They said he was yelling….GO!!! GO!!!! And when I caught it, he was so excited!!!  And that…that was a night that will live as long as I do.  Yes, winning was fun…but catching that ball…and the look on my dad’s face???  That’s the good stuff.  And although it was 37 years ago it still feels like a badge of honor…

I always wanted to be at my kids’ games, concerts and contests, and so I was.  I always wanted them to know that I was interested and proud of them. And now that I have grandkids…I want them feel how important they are to me, too. I am going to carve out the time that it takes for them to look from the field and see me sitting there…with nothing on my mind but them. I want them to feel in their heart how important they are to me.  And when I’m there, my phone will be put away. I will be looking up and out and sharing their lives.

I miss my dad, so much. He wasn’t one of those dads that came to games, but he was one that helped me when things broke, and he was there for me when life got too hard. And he made me laugh and he loved me and I could feel that. I want my kids and grands to feel that too.

We all love in our own ways….We are making memories and we can paint them any color that we choose. Bring on spring!  I’ll be on the bleachers with smile. Believe it. Maybe I’ll see you there.