Yesterday he told me that he had everything that he needed and he thanked me for asking. He was in a hospital bed, in the ICU.  Today he is gone from this Earth. COVID19 has taken yet another friend.

He lived his life as a Christian. He was kind and sweet and he loved his family with his whole heart and soul. He loved to ride and he loved life.

Isn’t it sad that that’s all that I really know about him? He was my age and I’ve known him since school days. But I really didn’t KNOW him very well.   And it’s more than the fact that he’s gone that is hurting me, squeezing my heart, it’s the fact that he is gone and now I will never get another chance to know who he was. I know that we can’t KNOW everyone…but the finality of their death calls the question...who do I care to know?

Sitting, now, in my writing chair I open my heart to inspiration.  The warmth of my coffee is comforting this morning. I hold my cup with both hands and I inhale, breathing in the familiar aroma of pumpkin spice. As happens when someone that I care about transitions from the physical, I search my memories to find a way feel them near…to sense them…to beckon to them, please come back if only for a moment. So I whisper to the angels to hold on to him in his transition and ask that he visit us now and again. I ask him to watch over us and to say hello to my loved ones that have gone before.

Always seeking answers to my wonderings, what is the lesson in this? Whenever and wherever there is pain, hurt, disappointment, tragedy, loss, scare, near miss, or heartbreak… there is a lesson for us to learn. Some new way to look at things…

And instead of allowing these things to scar us and to callous our hearts, we can choose to find a quiet place where we are warm and safe and we can ask our better angels for clarity.   Sometimes it takes just a breath, a mere moment to hear the answers and other times…with an open heart and a spirit that is hopeful, I wait.