Saturday morning woke up early and whispered to me, “Come on! Coffee is on!!!”

Now how could I resist?  Quietly, I crept from our bedroom, lit the fireplace and smiled to myself, watching our fat Chihuahua, Chico, arduously climb onto the hearth, clumsily collapse and roll to one side. He does this every winter morning. He anticipates my early rise and waits…tail wagging as fast as a tail can wag, he waits for the door to open, just the smallest of cracks and bursts through to run to the fireplace and wait….looking up at me impatiently…COME ON!!!  Once in position he stretches out as far as he possibly can, and with that belly …it’s impressive. He’s been on a diet this week and I hate that for him but its past time. And little does he know that once the weather doesn’t threaten to freeze me to the spot, he is going to go on walks with me, too. Oh, how he will hate that….trust me….I know he will hate it. But I want him to live forever so…

I just looked at Bella…speaking of fat…and she looked away from me, as though she knew what I’m saying here. She will be walking with me too. She, too, must live forever.

This is the weekend that will see all things Christmas being sorted and wrapped and carefully placed into their respective boxes, only this year each box will be labeled for my next Christmas’ delight and ease.  Oh, yes, I know that it’s WAY past time to get this done. But since I’m the head grown-up here, and the self-appointed Queen of Christmas, I wanted to feel it until I didn’t…and now….I’m ready. Not a trace of sadness here. I have a sparkly feeling that spring is just around the corner. So, color me ready. 

As a little girl, I remember how it looked each year, after our way-too-dried- out Christmas tree had been drug out through the front door on an old bed sheet…pine needles holding on to the area rug for dear life.  I’d look where the tree once stood and saw so much possibility!  All of that room!!!!  We could do cartwheels in there! We would stretch out our arms and twirl and twirl and never touch a wall or slam into a piece of furniture.  And it was all fun and games until, as one would expect, the first of many pine needles would find one of us and remind us that it was time to help mom to sweep up the mess. And as hard as we would try to find them all, pine needles would find us, the hard way, for months and months.

When the tree comes down each year, here in our home, it always surprises me how lonely the room can look…but just for a little while. There is just so much room where it once stood.  And I wait for the sound of the door to close. Because you can believe, when that last section of our beautiful Christmas tree is on its way to be hoisted to the top of the pole barn…and when no one is looking, I’ll be twirling. Oh yes, I will. My arms stretched out…and closing my eyes, I’ll be in our living room on East Jackson Blvd, in footie pajamas, arms stretched out as far as they will go and I will twirl and twirl. And the joy that I feel has lasted through the years, just as real and just as magical.

So much joy, visiting my life from days and years ago…love lives in those moments. Visiting my little girl days fills my heart and I’m so thankful that I get to see our mother, young and healthy again, watching us twirling and probably imagining herself as a little girl…at least, I hope so.

My life continues to be blessed.  Each day that I live gathers moments to remember...people and places in time, choices that I’ve made, love that I’ve shared…all touching the days of my life. And when the memories aren’t as wonderful as I would have liked for them to be, I can easily, through the eyes of someone that has lived 64 years, see the lessons there. And I can see how those lessons led me to where I am today. I was never stuck…I was just on my way to what was next. Today, I’m stronger than ever imagined, and I’m using the gifts that have been given to me. Where there once was fear, there is only excitement. Every day holds new gifts with our names on them.  I can’t wait to see to see what waits inside.  I will live in this day, in all of its glorious detail, and will revisit it my tomorrows. Because, man, oh man… once just isn’t enough.