All of the promise, neatly wrapped in shiny green and gold, springs to life the very moment that the twinkling lights of our Christmas tree claim dominion over the darkness of early Christmas morning.  I wait for this all year long.  What is it about this morning that feels like magic? Oh, I do feel the difference…Don’t get me wrong. This isn’t a Christmas morning where I will hear the little feet of my babies or theirs skipping steps to get up here to see what Santa has brought. That’s being done in their homes this morning. And that’s wonderful too.

Today, I will focus on what is amazing and wonderful in our home. This morning I am sitting here in my writing chair and I am appreciating the time and the quiet, giving me room to write. And I love the smell of this morning’s offering, Green Mountain morning brew. The lights, switched to on, are blinking and ready to entertain. I’m just taking my sweet time going in there. As much as the silence is a place to think and be grateful, it’s also a void, which has been filled, over the years, with children’s delighted voices of happiness and joy. Barking dogs, playing with their new toys, pans banging in the kitchen and the Christmas parade on every television in the house. As much as my heart is limping just a bit, it’s also strong and will be just fine. Next year’s Christmas will look a bit different and incredibly wonderful ways.

There’s really nothing like the absence of something to make one realize the many blessings of having it. People all over the world are grieving this morning. Only yesterday, one of our dear friends lost his mother to cancer.  Just this morning I read the obituary of Capt. Steve Kreighbaum, Captain of the Crorkindill of Michigan City. He takes with him a big chunk of my heart and many shared memories of Salmon fishing on Lake Michigan. He made such a glorious difference in my life. He shared joy and love, just dishing it out and spreading it around, like glitter!!! I am weeping for the loss of him this morning. I kept searching for this obituary all day yesterday….praying it was a cruel rumor that he had passed away Nope. It’s here and my heart aches for just one more trip with him, out to the big water to catch our limit…to see his smile and hear him call to me!!!  “Kid” FISH ON!!!! You’re up!!!! Oh this lump in my throat…will subside…it has to.  I wish that you all could have known him. What a gift. He was here on this earth for one purpose…to love everyone, every day. He sure accomplished that. And I just know that Dad was there to meet him, shake his hand with his amazing smile and together, they lamented the big ones that got away.  I don’t think he is resting in heaven, I think he’s fishing and drinking a cold one and being free and fine with kindred spirits. And he sure as hell wouldn’t want me sitting here crying into my coffee cup. Nope…he sure wouldn’t.

So, I know what to do. I’m going to go into the living room and turn on some Christmas music and get ready for the phone call from Courtney, Carsten and Cora. I’m going to be Facetiming and watch her open her gifts from Mimi. It’s the next best thing to being there, right?  Jackson and Brayden opened theirs early this month right here and I have the video to remind me, in case it begins to slip into yesteryear.  I got to spend time with Jackson on Facetime last night, I just love him!!!  It’s been amazing, here in my heart. It’s full to the very brink. Birthday wishes, Christmas greetings, virtual hugs and happy birf  day sang to me by my grands. I received the most amazing card from Mark…so good that I’m keeping it forever. He took me shopping yesterday and ended the evening with dinner and I watched him eat a huge hunk of cheese cake….AFTER he said he was too full!!!! Where does he put it????  I got to hear from my siblings yesterday and facetimed with my mom. That was a gift, for sure. After all, we share the birthday.

Today begins when I finish my love letter and share it. It feels like the official start to my every day. Thank-you, to those of you that read them. They’re from my heart to yours. And my prayer is that you’ll find something between the lines that help you, make you stronger, and give you the love that you need for the day.  And as I write the words that come from somewhere unknown, but cherished, I remind myself that there is magic here, and there is something tangible in the mysterious. There is joy where we look for it, and even in the absence of something or someone that we love and cherish, there are the memories that will grow stronger and sweeter, with time. And the love that our loved ones shared with us were investments in their legacies. Because I know like I know that Chris, and Joe and Peg, and Capt. Steve, and Dad and Grandmas and Grandpas and every other soul that loves us and waits to hugs us again are right there…just beyond the curtain. They tap us on the shoulder as we remember something about them that enriched us in so many ways.  And it’s Christmas morning…our memories of them are gifts beneath our tree…wrapped and shiny and ready to dazzle us, once more, when we open them up with a memory or two.  Bless you all on this and every other day. Merry Christmas.