I opened the blinds this morning and it’s still so dark outside. I like it this way. When the sun begins its rise I will be witness to it all. I did notice, even in the dark, that it snowed hard at some point, because there’s enough of it to make my walk to the studio a bit treacherous. I laugh to myself…remembering the joy of waking to see this much snow stuck to the ground giving possibility to a snow day. School could be cancelled and we’d be able to stay home and play in it.  I remember my mom turning on the news and we would sit there staring at the news anchors…just willing them, with all of the hope that we could hold, to say the name of our school…come ON!!! Say Elkhart schools!!!! Say Elkhart Schools are CLOSED!!! And when they would finally say it we would scream, jumping up and down and run to change out of our school clothes.  Snowmen and sleds…boots and mismatched gloves…gulping breakfast and running out the door…Having played the Mom part of this whole scenario, I completely understand, now, the sound that my mom would make when she heard our screams of victory. Gone were any plans she may have had. 

Today is the very last day of 2020. It’s bittersweet to close the door on another year. Though this year has been challenging, many wonderful moments have been shared and so many lessons have been learned.

Today is the day when it’s customary to think back over the year and commit to resolutions for the positive changes we intend to make. I do want to eat better and move more. I want to control the things that I stress about. I want to see my family more. I want to sing more. I want to make time for myself…playing my guitar or writing my book. I want to get rid of things that I don’t need. I want to be present in my every day. I want to help more. I want to remember those that I’ve lost and miss and keep them alive in my memories of them. I want to continue to grow my business. And I also want to take some time away from work to see something new and beautiful. I want to walk in the water and see palm trees in the distance. I want to eat crab legs until I am tired.  I want to discover new artists and hear the lyrics that I’ve never heard before.  I want to walk in the woods and this year I want to find my first morel mushroom!

Yes, I look forward to 2021, like most of us…but I give thanks for the lessons of 2020. Everyone will look at this year through the eyes of their experiences…me, included. I’ve lost friends to the virus, I haven’t seen my mom and it hurts. I can’t be with Courtney, Carsten and Cora until it’s safe. I can’t teach classes for a bit. I know that I’m not alone in these things. And I could focus on the lack of it or focus on the possibilities of it all.

I’m hoping that 2021 grants us peace and hope and health.  I hope that we can all find something in the memory of 2020 that made us glad that we lived it. How will we tell the story of 2020?  This year will make the history books...you can count on that.  I may tell the story through the eyes of what was lost…but I hope not. I think I’ll tell it by the kindness that I saw in gentle ways.   I saw an outpouring of love when people got sick with the virus, by bringing food or sharing what we had and others needed.  I saw the front line workers that we know treated with the respect and care that they deserve.  I can’t imagine what they’re going through. Thank-you will never be enough.  I may tell the story of 2020 in gratitude for Facetime. I got to see my loved ones anytime and every time that I wanted to. I’m so thankful for that.

I guess I’ll decide how I’ll tell the story of 2020 a bit later when I take the time to really look at it. I’ll probably just take a moment or two in the first moments of 2021 and thank goodness that we made it.  Then we will raise our glasses to friendship and possibilities and get on with it. Happy New Year everyone!!!